Archive for May, 2009

Couch Potato Pickings | Snakes on a Plane, and phobias

Showing on Film4 tonight at 9pm

Snakes on a Plane

OK, I know I’ve picked this film before, but since I’ve recently been talking with friends about phobias, I couldn’t resist the chance to mention this movie’s ophidiophobia and aerophobia double whammy.

Fears of Snakes and planes are relatively common, and understandable in many ways, but some of the things that terrify us really are quite obscure, so much so that every film probably triggers irrational dread in someone somewhere. To give you an idea of how random and diverse our phobias are, I’ve collaborated the assorted bag of those suffered by my friends and I, and this is the resulting movie:

Snakes and spiders on a plane piloted by a clown in a red raincoat carrying a childcatcher’s net, with a Phil Collins soundtrack.

Couch Potato Pickings | Kissing Jessica Stein and other girls kissing girls

Showing on Channel 4 tonight at 1.05am

Heather Juergensen,Jennifer Westfeldt

Katy Perry apparently tried it, and liked it. Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones tried it, and was rather surprised by it. Girls, girls, girls, both young and a little older have, in recent years, been granted some seriously sexy role models to encourage them to cross the traditional boundaries of the dating game.

Luckily, being tied to tradition isn’t necessary these days. The blinkers are off and we’ve realised that we don’t have to spend our lives following the same unadventurous paths as our parents.

No, thanks to those popular shows where same sex relationships exist alongside heterosexual ones (Sex and the City, Friends, Will & Grace, Hollyoaks, to name just a few) it’s no longer shocking or unusual for a girl to try out dating another girl just for the hell of it.

And why should it shock? We try out new foods, new wines, new fashions, new TV shows and new gadgets all the time, why not new sexual experiences. As I regularly say to my friend with the inexplicable Haggis phobia, “If you’ve never tried it, how do you know you don’t like it?”

And that’s why tonight’s film works for me. The title character Jessica Stein has suffered a string of hopeless dates with men, and decides to answer a personal ad in the women dating women section.

I’ve known plenty of women like her – some have carried on happily dating women, others have ended up donning the traditional white gown and getting hitched to a man. In this movie Jessica kisses the girl, and likes it, but I’m saying no more about how it turns out.

You have to watch it yourself to find out the outcome.

News Muse - G.I.R.L.S! Having fun 80s style

The 80s are sooo back (minus the financial boom)! I keep saying it even though I know just by popping down to TopShop that it’s stating the very obvious.

20th Century Fox also confirmed this fact by announcing that they are doing a remake of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, ya know, the 1985 movie that starred a very young Sarah Jessica Parker and a very young Helen Hunt, sporting bad hairdos and lots of lycra. I recorded the movie off telly and remember watching the VHS tape until it pretty much melted and the image/sound got distorted. At my house it was always ‘D-TV time’ and it used to drive my big brother insane - he was more of a Top Gun kinda guy.

In case your memory fails you, here’s GJWHF in a handy, bite-sized three minute compilation:

You’ve pretty much seen the whole film there.

The script for the new version has only just been commissioned, so this project is still in its infancy. But I’ll be curious to see what they concoct, and while I wait I’ll be enjoying D-TV on crisp-clear DVD!

Cameron Diaz seems to be a girl who always likes to have fun. But I am wondering how much of a good time the bubbly blonde will have when she tries to play the on/off lover of… Tom Cruise! Diaz had problems faking chemistry with Ashton Kutcher in What Happens in Vegas, and he isn’t half as freaky as Tom Cruise. Now that I think about it, I can’t imagine anyone getting it on with Tom Cruise and making it look believable on screen - not even his trouble and strife Katie Holmes!

Cameron Diaz

Anyhow, the film is called Wichita (bless you!) and is a James Mangold action comedy, which will see Cruise playing an international spy. Yawn!

This Sunday I will temporarily be replacing D-TV for some must-see MTV because the MTV Movie Awards are on. And why should you care? Duh! Because the New Moon trailer will be premiering during the show! Because Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner will be there to introduce it! And because Twilight has been nominated for Best Movie, Best Female Performance, Best Male Breakthrough Performance, Best Song, Best Fight and Best Kiss! That’s six nominations out of 11 awards. Go vampires, go!

Twilight cast

Big Screen – this week’s top ten at the cinema…

  1. Night at the Museum 2
  2. Lively display… History comes to life in this adventure-comedy sequel, as museum security guard Larry (Ben Stiller) does battle with more restless exhibits.



  3. Angels & Demons!
  4. Holy thriller… Tom Hanks takes the lead in this adaptation of Dan Brown’s best-selling novel.

  5. Star Trek
  6. Lost in space… Director J.J. Abrams reboot of the classic sci-fi franchise is set in an alternate reality and features space ships, black holes, phasers and pointy ears.

  7. X Men Origins: Wolverine
  8. Killer instinct… The troubled mutant clashes with his fearsome half-brother in this spin-off prequel, giving Hugh Jackman ample opportunity to flex his muscles and growl.

  9. Coraline
  10. The other side… This stop-motion animated adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s best-selling novella follows an inquisitive young heroine as she discovers a portal into another world.

  11. Hannah Montana: The Movie
  12. Identity crisis… Miley Cyrus plays Miley Stewart and her alter-ego, singing superstar Hannah Montana, who returns to her birthplace of Tennessee to live the simple life.

  13. Tormented
  14. School daze… This British horror sees a bullied teenager comes back from the dead to take revenge on his classmates.

  15. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
  16. Things that go bump in the night… A playboy bachelor, played by Matthew McConaughey, is haunted by his former lovers.

  17. State of Play
  18. Dirty politics… A team of investigators try to solve the murder of a congressman’s wife in this star-studded thriller.

  19. 17 Again
  20. Young at heart… Thirtysomething Mike (Matthew Perry) is stuck in a rut. Then, one morning, he wakes up as a 17-year-old version of himself (Zak Effron) and gets to change the course of his life. Who says you’re only young once?


Couch Potato Pickings | How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Showing on Channel 4 tonight at 10pm

Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey

In this battle of the sexes comedy, Kate Hudson plays a magazine journalist who sets out to get a guy to dump her within ten days as research for an article she’s writing. What she doesn’t realise is that the advertising executive she picks for the experiment (Matthew McConaughey) has his own agenda: to get a woman to fall in love with him in 10 days

I’m sure if a woman really wanted to lose a guy, she could pull enough turn-offs out of the bag in ten minutes, never mind ten days. But I guess there wouldn’t be much a film then would there?

If you genuinely want to lose a guy in ten days then this film, with its inevitable happy ever after romcom plotline isn’t perhaps the best place for handy tips. Instead, check out this link for some useful advice, or just spend a few hours talking about the contents of your handbag, Sex and the City, your hatred of football, the amount of calories you’ve consumed so far this week or bridesmaids dresses. That should do the trick.

Small Screen – this week’s top ten DVDs…

  1. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
  2. Neighbours from hell… The third instalment in the fantasy franchise explores the origins of the war between vampires and werewolves.

  3. Defiance
  4. Fighting back… This World War II drama sees Daniel Craig as one of four Jewish brothers from Poland who flee from Nazi persecution and launch an attack on their oppressors.


  5. Bride Wars
  6. Marriage mayhem… Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway do battle as best friends who are scheduled to hold their respective weddings on the same day.

  7. Role Models
  8. Growing old disgracefully… Two reckless salesmen are ordered to mentor some wayward children..

  9. Frost/Nixon
  10. Face-off… Ron Howard directs this drama based on the historic battle between former US president Richard Nixon and British broadcaster David Frost.

  11. Australia
  12. Down Under… An English aristocrat falls for a cattle driver in Baz Luhrmann’s epic love story.

  13. Twilight
  14. Pain in the neck… Teenager Bella Swann moves to a small town in Washington and falls for her mysterious classmate, Edward Cullen, who turns out to be a 108-year-old vampire. Typical.

  15. Transporter 3
  16. Special delivery… Jason Statham reprises his role as Frank Martin, who has been pressured into transporting a very special package. If he fails, he’ll explode. No pressure then.

  17. Mamma Mia!
  18. Dancing Queen… Meryl Streep can dance. Meryl Streep can jive. Meryl Streep is clearly having the time of her life in this money, money, money-making film version of the musical inspired by ABBA songs.

  19. Quantum of Solace
  20. Secret service… Bond’s latest mission takes him to Austria, Italy and South America on the trail of a shady environmentalist. It also gives him a chance to show off his running and jumping skills.


Out in Cinemas | Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience

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For those of you not in the know (ie: anyone over 16), Nick, Kevin and Joe Jonas, aka The Jonas Brothers, are Disney’s latest pop sensations. Three ultra-clean-cut lads (complete with chastity rings, folks) who have been setting tweenie hearts a flutter recently with pop-rock anthems such as Burnin’ Up, BB Good and SOS. Last year they played Madison Square Garden in New York to the delight of their throngs of screaming fans as part of their Burnin’ Up Tour and this is the film version of that experience for all those who couldn’t get a ticket.

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Added into the mix is 2-D backstage footage which professes to give you a behind-the-scene glimpse of the regular guys behind the hype. Thus we get to see the brothers being woken up at the crack of dawn in their hotel room, bickering over their morning bagels, whipping off their shirts during a quick costume change, attending an album launch, doing an impromptu gig in Central Park and even getting chased down a Manhattan street by hordes of hysterical girls wielding ‘We Love Jonas’ banners. Actually I have a sneaking suspicion that last bit might have been faked, due to the fact that it bears an uncanny resemblance to the opening of A Hard Day’s Night, The Beatles movie from way back when which virtually no-one buying tickets for this film is likely to remember.

But hey, who am I to rain on the Jonas’s parade? Their songs are catchy and full of energy, their stage show is professionally produced and they’ve certainly managed to tap into the current pre-teen scene if the popularity of their three best-selling albums and their sell-out tours is anything to go by.

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In terms of musical highlights, I’d say the guest spot by current country music princess Taylor Swift doing Should’ve Said No and Demi Lovato’s duet with Joe on This Is Me — the hit song from the Disney Channel movie Camp Rock which they starred in together — definitely qualify. Both girl singers have terrific voices, which did sort of put lead singer Joe’s not-quite-so-spectacular voice in the shade, but let’s face it his singing abilities are only part of his attraction for his core audience. He’s clearly got more than enough stage presence and pubescent sex appeal to make up for any vocal lack - and that’s without even factoring in his talent for back flips.

Plus, the 3-D effects mean that you do feel as if you’re in the auditorium. One sequence in which the Jonas boys get to fire-hose their fans with foam had everyone in the cinema ducking. As an old has-been who didn’t know a single one of their songs when I sat down, I was suitably entertained, while the two eleven-year-olds with me informed me the film was ’sick’ (apparently a good thing). And I have to admit that there were a few moments when Joe was strutting his stuff that I was reminded a little of a young Mick Jagger in training - but minus the raunch and the lips, of course. This is after all a Disney Concert Experience.

Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience is out in cinemas this Friday, 29th May.

News Hound | 27 May 2009

Movie Talk sniffs around the back alleys of the internet to bring you the latest showbiz news - so you don’t get your head stuck inside the wrong bin…

paw-print.jpgMel Gibson has confirmed on Jay Leno that his Russian girlfriend Oksana is pregnant:

paw-print.jpgCher is in talks to join Christina Aguilera in Burlesque as the owner of the club where Aguilera’s character works.

paw-print.jpgSam Raimi hopes to have Spider-Man 4 in production by February 2010. Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire is currently writing the script.

paw-print.jpgThe exciting news that Anthony Hopkins was returning as Hannibal Lecter with Cate Blachett playing Clarice Starling have sadly turned out to be entirely untrue.

paw-print.jpgMiley Cyrus is rumoured to be up against Hayden Panettiere, Amanda Bynes and Dancing With the Stars pro Julianne Hough for that coveted starring role as Ariel Moore in Footloose.

Miley Cyrus

paw-print.jpgMichael Moore’s latest documentary, which will be looking at the reasons behind the worldwide financial crisis, has been given a release date of 2 October.

paw-print.jpgDan Aykroyd has revealed that a woman will be leader of the ghostbusting gang in the upcoming sequel Ghostbusters 3 while the original cast will act as mentors, teaching the newbies how to deal with ectoplasmic mishaps.

Couch Potato Pickings | Son of Rambow and children of the 80s

On Sky Movies Premiere today at 6.10pm

A schoolboy who is forbidden to watch TV and films by his religious family, gets involved in making a home movie with the school tearaway after seeing a bootleg copy of Stallone’s Rambo: First Blood.

Capturing the serious world of playground politics as well as the  joys of the childhood imagination, this British coming-of-age comedy both amused and moved me when I saw it while ago.

But I almost didn’t see it.  I’m someone with an inbuilt anti-action movie reflex, you see, so the nod to Sly Stallone’s Vietnam veteran in the title put me off. Additionally, I’m not naturally drawn to kids on screen, so was deterred by the idea of its pre-pubescent cast.

To be honest, I gave this film a glance for just one reason: I was a child/teen of the 1980s and this is a tale of kids growing up in the early 1980s. I fancied a nostalgia trip.

My 1980s was the decade of grubby white jackets, plastic beads and poodle perms, Bruno and Doris, Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickson, Frankie Says and Alive in 85 t-shirts, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Mini Kievs, Krystle, Alexis and shoulder pads.

It may not capture my personal 80s highlights, but this film still portrays a 1980s that’s very familiar to me. Yes, it’s the decade of Rambo: First Blood, but it’s also the decade of wild and wacky hairstyles, bulky have-to-buy-a-piece-of-furniture-to-house-them video recorders, costly hugely-coveted  camcorders and French exchange students.

Who can forget the French exchange students? They arrived en masse with their alarming confidence and their obligatory matching rucksacks, eclipsing our provincial white stilletoed style with their Benetton brilliance.

Ah, the memories come flooding back, rather like one particularly unforgettable bottle of Blue Nun, but that’s another story…

Birthday Greetings to the Titans of Terror

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Did you know that three of cinema’s masters of the macabre were born in the month of May?

Peter Cushing was born on 26 May (1913), while Vincent Price (1911) and Christopher Lee (1922) were both born on 27 May. But it wasn’t until 1983 that they all appeared together in the same film, the horror spoof The House of Long Shadows.

Let’s all glass of vintage champagne in their honour!